Being a parent and a teacher

Question: Do you need to be a parent to be a good teacher?

In the world of education, there is a long-standing belief that parenting experience can play a significant role in shaping one's abilities as a teacher. The argument often suggests that to be an effective educator, one must understand the nuances of caring for and guiding children, a role that parents experience daily. However, while the question of whether one needs to be a parent to be a good teacher is intriguing, the answer is far more nuanced. This article explores the relationship between parenting experience and teaching effectiveness in the UK, examining academic research and various perspectives on the matter.

Understanding the role of a teacher

Before we dive into the question of whether parenting experience is necessary to be a good teacher, it is important to first clarify what makes a teacher 'good'. According to the UK’s Department for Education (DfE), a good teacher is one who can foster a positive learning environment, promote students’ academic and personal growth, and adapt teaching methods to meet individual needs. Good teachers possess a variety of qualities, including strong subject knowledge, excellent communication skills, empathy, adaptability, and an ability to create engaging learning experiences (DfE, 2016).

It is clear that being a good teacher requires much more than simply understanding how to manage children. However, some argue that being a parent can enrich a teacher’s ability to connect with their students and understand the complexities of child development. The following sections examine this claim in greater detail.

The parent-teacher connection: Empathy and understanding

One of the strongest arguments in favour of the idea that parents make good teachers is that parenting experience fosters empathy and an understanding of children's needs. Parents are constantly attuned to their children’s emotions, challenges, and developmental stages. This intimate understanding of child psychology, some believe, can translate well into the classroom, enabling teachers to create a supportive and empathetic learning environment.

Research supports this idea, with studies showing that empathy is a key characteristic of effective teachers. According to a study by the Institute of Education at University College London, teachers who are empathetic are better able to engage with students and respond to their emotional and educational needs (Perry, 2012). Empathy in teaching goes beyond simply being kind; it also involves understanding the struggles that students face, both academically and personally, and knowing how to support them in overcoming these challenges.

However, empathy is not limited to those who are parents. Teachers who have not had children of their own can still develop deep empathy through their professional experiences. Many teachers report that their work with diverse groups of students, often from challenging backgrounds, provides them with a wealth of emotional intelligence and the ability to relate to young people’s struggles. The idea that empathy is exclusive to parents is therefore a limited one.

Child development knowledge: Does parenting experience matter?

Another argument in favour of the parent-teacher connection is that parents, through their experiences with their own children, gain valuable knowledge about child development and behaviour. Parenting often requires a deep understanding of the physical, emotional, and cognitive stages that children go through, and this understanding can help teachers manage classrooms more effectively.

In the UK, teachers are required to be familiar with developmental psychology and child development as part of their training. Initial Teacher Training (ITT) courses cover key theories of child development, including the works of prominent psychologists such as Jean Piaget, Lev Vygotsky, and Erik Erikson (Gove, 2013). These theories focus on how children learn and grow at different stages and how teaching strategies can be adapted to meet their needs. However, while theoretical knowledge is essential, some argue that the practical experience of parenting offers insights that academic training may not fully capture.

Indeed, research suggests that first-hand parenting experience can enhance teachers' ability to understand and respond to developmental stages. A study by the University of York found that teachers with parenting experience were more attuned to children's social and emotional needs, which allowed them to manage classrooms effectively (Thomson et al., 2015). However, it is important to note that many teachers without parenting experience can also acquire this understanding through their professional practice, especially when working closely with children over extended periods.

Communication skills: Nurturing positive relationships

Effective communication is central to teaching. Teachers must be able to articulate ideas clearly, listen to students, and adapt their communication style to suit the needs of their learners. Some argue that parents, through their daily interactions with their children, develop strong communication skills that enhance their ability to teach.

Communication skills are, indeed, a key factor in teaching effectiveness. Research by Hattie (2009) in his meta-analysis of factors influencing student achievement identifies 'teacher-student relationships' as one of the most significant predictors of success. Teachers who can build trust with their students through open communication create an environment in which students feel comfortable expressing themselves and taking risks in their learning.

While parents certainly have an advantage in developing communication skills with children, effective communication is not exclusive to parents. Many teachers develop exceptional communication abilities through training, professional experience, and personal characteristics. Moreover, teachers interact with children from diverse backgrounds and with different learning needs, which requires them to be adaptable in their communication methods. Thus, while parenting experience can enhance communication skills, it is not an absolute requirement for teaching success.

The role of professional training and experience

In the UK, teaching is a highly professionalized field, with teachers required to undergo rigorous training and professional development. Initial Teacher Training (ITT) programs provide aspiring educators with the knowledge and skills necessary to teach effectively. These programs include coursework on pedagogy, child development, classroom management, and subject-specific expertise. Teachers are also required to undertake placements in schools, where they gain hands-on experience working with children in real-world settings.

For those who enter the profession without parenting experience, this professional training plays a crucial role in preparing them for the demands of teaching. Research on teacher preparation consistently shows that well-structured training programs that emphasize both theoretical knowledge and practical experience lead to more effective teaching (Darling-Hammond, 2006). Therefore, while parenting experience may offer some advantages, professional training and experience are equally, if not more, important in developing teaching expertise.

The case against the necessity of parenting experience

While there are valid arguments in favour of the idea that parenting experience can enhance teaching abilities, it is essential to recognize that good teaching does not depend solely on whether a teacher is a parent. The qualities of a good teacher (i.e. empathy, subject knowledge, communication skills, and classroom management abilities) can be developed through professional training and experience, regardless of whether the teacher has children of their own.

In fact, many educators who have not been parents themselves report that their lack of parenting experience does not hinder their ability to connect with students or manage classrooms effectively. Instead, they argue that their ability to empathize with students comes from their professional training and experience working with children from diverse backgrounds. For example, the UK’s National Teacher Enquiry Network (NTEN) has highlighted that teachers who engage in continuous professional development (CPD) are better equipped to address the varied needs of students and create inclusive learning environments (NTEN, 2018).

Final thoughts

The question of whether you need to be a parent to be a good teacher is complex and does not have a straightforward answer. While parenting experience can provide valuable insights into child development, communication, and empathy, it is by no means a prerequisite for becoming an effective teacher. Teachers who have not been parents can still develop the necessary skills and knowledge to succeed in the classroom through professional training, experience, and a commitment to understanding their students.

In the UK, where teacher training is robust and emphasises both theory and practice, it is clear that effective teaching is based on a combination of factors, including subject expertise, communication skills, and a deep understanding of child development. Parenting experience may hone some of these skills, but it is not a guarantee. Ultimately, what makes a good teacher is not whether or not they have a strong, healthy and supportive relationship with their own children, but their ability to connect with young people from different backgrounds and households, engage their attention in an inspiring way and foster an environment of respect and support.

Having said all that, there is an assumption that teachers are good parents. In my experience, teachers have as much self-doubt, frustration, pride, success and failure as every other parent. Perhaps I should research an article entitled 'Do teachers make good parents?'

References

Darling-Hammond, L. (2006). Powerful Teacher Education: Lessons from Exemplary Programs. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass.

Department for Education (DfE). (2016). Standard for Teachers’ Professional Development. [online] Available at: https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/standard-for-teachers-professional-development  [Accessed 31 Mar. 2026].

Gove, M. (2013). Speech to the Education Reform Summit. Department for Education. [online] Available at: https://www.gov.uk/government/speeches/michael-gove-speech-to-education-reform-summit

Hattie, J. (2009). Visible Learning: A Synthesis of Over 800 Meta-Analyses Relating to Achievement. London: Routledge.

National Teacher Enquiry Network (NTEN). (2018). Effective Professional Development: Evidence and Practice. [online] Available at: https://tdtrust.org/nten/

Perry, E. (2012). Empathy in Education: The Role of Emotional Understanding in Teaching. Institute of Education, University College London.

Thomson, R., Bennett, L. and Hall, J. (2015). Parenting Experience and Teacher Effectiveness: A Comparative Study. University of York.